Children Growing Up Too Quickly

[p.falk]

My son is 13 and we're getting ready to pick the high school he will be attending.

Just a few days ago I was looking for something in his bedroom and I came across this book I had purchased for him when he was about 4 years old. It was one of those father/son woodwork project books.

On the cover was a little boy who looked to be plucked right out of the 1930s, looking like a Little Rascal cast member... running towards the camera while holding the string of some kite you assume he must have made with his dad.

At the time of purchase I remember thinking Liam's a few years younger than this cover-bound kid and hoped the projects wouldn't be too over his head to work on. But there was still that excitement of doing these projects with him.

I put that book on his shelf way back when (2016, 2017) and forgot about it. It got pushed in with the other books and became a bit of memory time capsule.

And so... I just recently came across it. Eight or 9 years for an adult isn't all that much of a big deal, but... that does a number on a child of 4 years. Being prone to wistful reflections, melancholy, and sentiment - all of those currents started to churn within my depths. But it's such an uncanny feeling. At one moment I look at that book and my mind just falls back all those years with the reflexive "oh, we had better start doing some of these"... to be quickly pulled to the present with another "oh" of realization that he's no longer a little boy.

Who knows - maybe I'll force him to work on a few of the projects anyway.

[Highlander]

I appreciate ... and share ... the sentiment.

[Riverboat]

Wait until you get grandchildren, and everything they do reminds you of him all over again. Keep a box of tissue handy. I use a lot of 'em.

[p.falk]

Wait until you get grandchildren, and everything they do reminds you of him all over again. Keep a box of tissue handy. I use a lot of 'em.

I'm looking forward to it.

I pray that my children will have children.

[Highlander]

Grandchildren are another issue. They are, of course, wonderful.

OTOH, there seems to be a generational change in the expectations for grandparents. Nearly all of my friends with grandchildren have become, more or less, in general or at specific times, primary care givers for the grandchildren. The idea seems to be that, since the grandparents are retired and have nothing to do, there is no reason that they can't take care of the grandkids. Or the great-grandkids, in one case. And child care is so expensive. And inconvenient, with rules and all, And who can trust the provider?

The extreme cases are, to me, mind boggling. One is when a parents asked grandparents to change vacation arrangements because the parents had failed to make arrangements for the two grandchildren during spring break. Wasn't it the grandparents responsibility to provide care during school breaks? Another was a parent moving out of state and asking the grandparents to care for the grandchild "for a while"; that was about 18 months ago. Those same grandparents adopted a grandchild to ensure the child would get basic care and attention. One of my friends does the driving for his granddaughters ... school, activities, medical appointments, social events. The parents are just so busy. When he is unable to do so, the daughter-in-law is not pleased.

The advantage to this modern expectation is the time you get to spend with your grandkid.

[Jack3]

Eight or 9 years for an adult isn't all that much of a big deal, but... that does a number on a child

When I first joined this forum (the older URL), I was a teenager in school - with the mind of one.
Now I've graduated from college, and look at adult responsibilities ahead.
How time flies.

I appreciate ... and share ... the sentiment.

+1

[Doom]

Well if you want a really depressing thought on the eve of my 51st birthday, it feels like only yesterday that I was a teenager, then I blinked and I am middle-aged and planning for retirement. The next time I blink I will be be in my 80s and planning for death. Life goes fast.

[Riverboat]

[T]here seems to be a generational change in the expectations for grandparents. . . The idea seems to be that, since the grandparents are retired and have nothing to do, there is no reason that they can't take care of the grandkids.

The flip side of this is is when parents withhold the grandkids, whether simple extortion ("give us money or you don't get to see them") or ideological war.

Thankfully, we're not at either point, although we have profound differences. However, at present, I don't foresee the two children receiving the grace of baptism during their childhood, so the best my wife and I can do is provide a good example. How do you answer the five-year-old when he asks if God is real? "Mom doesn't believe in God." It breaks my heart, but the best I can do is say, "Yes, I believe He's real."