"if you do not forgive"

[Jack3]

Can someone who confesses their sins, repents of them - except one: the refusal to forgive - does he receive valid absolution?

Let us assume the refusal to forgive was a venial sin in this situation.

I'm trying to understand how the Bible verse comes into play here, Mat 6:15 and the parable of the unforgiving servant

[Obi-Wan Kenobi]

A person who is unrepentant of a mortal sin can't be absolved, but refusal to forgive is not always grave matter.

[Jack3]

But Jesus says, if you don't forgive those who sinned against you, then God won't forgive your sins.

So is that not to be taken literally, not teaching us about how and when God forgives; but merely an exhortation to forgive others?

[Doom]

But Jesus says, if you don't forgive those who sinned against you, then God won't forgive your sins.

So is that not to be taken literally, not teaching us about how and when God forgives; but merely an exhortation to forgive others?

That isn't the only place. In the Our Father, it says, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." This definitely seems like a condition.

I think what Father is saying is not that we are not required to forgive but that refusing to forgive is not always a mortal sin. In the parable of the Unforgiving Servant, who has a large debt forgiven, but who then refuses to forgive a much smaller sum owed to him by another servant, the unforgiving servant isn't thrown into "the outer darkness" (or whatever term a translation uses), where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth", he is put into prison "until he pays back every penny", this sounds like Purgatory rather than hell.

[VeryTas]

As often, Doom makes some excellent points.

[Obi-Wan Kenobi]

I agree with ... with ... with ... we've having another heat wave. I want Fall!

[Jack3]

But Jesus says, if you don't forgive those who sinned against you, then God won't forgive your sins.

So is that not to be taken literally, not teaching us about how and when God forgives; but merely an exhortation to forgive others?

That isn't the only place. In the Our Father, it says, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." This definitely seems like a condition.

I think what Father is saying is not that we are not required to forgive but that refusing to forgive is not always a mortal sin. In the parable of the Unforgiving Servant, who has a large debt forgiven, but who then refuses to forgive a much smaller sum owed to him by another servant, the unforgiving servant isn't thrown into "the outer darkness" (or whatever term a translation uses), where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth", he is put into prison "until he pays back every penny", this sounds like Purgatory rather than hell.

Of course, refusal to forgive by itself isn't always a mortal sin.

What I was wondering is that our Lord explicitly puts a condition on forgiveness: your sins will be forgiven only if you XYZ. Without XYZ, there's no forgiveness for you.

So does that make XYZ an additional requirement (over contrition and confession) for forgiveness from God?

[Doom]

As I said, I think it is clear that we have been offered forgiveness on no other terms.

[VeryTas]

As I said, I think it is clear that we have been offered forgiveness on no other terms.

On no other terms than what?
As you said where?

[Doom]

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us

The implication is clear, if you do not forgive you will not be forgiven

[Jack3]

Suppose I go confess.
I have committed one mortal sin, of which I repent.
I also committed a venial sin of withholding forgiveness, and I persist in it.
Do I receive valid absolution? Am I forgiven? Do I receive sanctifying grace? Why?

[Obi-Wan Kenobi]

Yes, you receive forgiveness. Yes, you get sanctifying grace. But your refusal to forgive blocks some of the ancillary graces you could have received.

[Obi-Wan Kenobi]

Also: Matt 7:2 and parallels. If you are grudging with your forgiveness, so (in a sense) will God be in forgiving you.

[Jack3]

Yes, you receive forgiveness. Yes, you get sanctifying grace.

So are you disagreeing with Doom:

In the Our Father, it says, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." This definitely seems like a condition.

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us
The implication is clear, if you do not forgive you will not be forgiven

If I may press further, it also takes me back to my own previous question:

So is that not to be taken literally, not teaching us about how and when God forgives; but merely an exhortation to forgive others?

[Obi-Wan Kenobi]

It is not meant as an absolute: "If you don't forgive anyone anything, you can't be forgiven." But it's not a mere exhortation. As I said before, a severe and willing failure to forgive does block forgiveness, and even a less severe failure impedes it.

BTW, I gather from listening to podcasts and reading books that demons love unforgiveness.

[Doom]

When I said that refusal to forgive is not always a mortal sin this is because some things are really difficult to forgive, have any of us forgiven the 19 hijackers on 9-11?

And, even if someone wants to forgive, it may be possible only to do so imperfectly. There’s lots of things where someone might say “I want to forgive, but I can’t let go”, sometimes the desire to forgive is all one can muster up.

[Jack3]

Thank you