Is This True?

[Doom]

Diarmid McCullough in describing the reforms of The Council of Trent claims the following “ after 1542 two Catholics could not be validly married unless it was presided over by a priest”

It is my understanding that a Catholic can get a dispensation (if that is the right word) to get married without a priest and it would still be valid and sacramental because after all the couple gives the sacrament to each other and the priest is only there as a witness.

[Obi-Wan Kenobi]

He's thinking of this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tametsi

Dispensations could be given, but the general rule is as he describes it.

[Gandalf the Grey]

I have a question. When my wife and myself were married she was Catholic and I was an atheist and we were married in front of a justice of the peace.

I inevitably converted to the Church in 2007.

We've now been happily married 26 years and we have three daughters that are now grown.

I've spoken to my parish priest about my situation and he's never said anything or given the indication that our marriage is invalid.

So what should I think in regards this issue?

[Obi-Wan Kenobi]

We have a rule about discussing marriage law here, but I will say that, if she didn't get a dispensation from form, I don't see how it's valid. Easily amended, though, by convalidation.

[Doom]

He's thinking of this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tametsi

Dispensations could be given, but the general rule is as he describes it.

Well, right, secret marriages (like in Romeo and Juliet) were common, Tom Holland in his book "Dominion" talks about how the Church basically forbade arranged marriages unless both parties consented, he talks about an apparently famous case of a princess who objected to an arranged marriage on the grounds that she was in love with another man, she got the support of her bishop and was given protection by him when she fled and was allowed to marry the man of her choice in secret. Because people objecting to an arranged marriage on these grounds became rather common, at least among the common people, secret marriages to avoid arranged marriage became common. The problem was that these secret marriages became impossible to prove, which is why Trent required the presence of at least 4 witnesses, not including the priest.