Funeral Mass

[Doom]

With my 50th birthday coming up, I am wondering how much time I have left. I am not near death, or sick in any way.

I am in good health, my diabetes is in remission, my liver, heart, and kidneys are in good condition, and I am not at risk for a stroke or a heart attack, my colon and prostate and healthy with no hint of cancer, my doctor assures me that as long as I continue my healthy behavior I have every reason to believe I could live to age 80 or older.

But 50 is a big number and a milestone birthday, and you are supposed to make your last will and testament when you are "of sound mind and body" so I think now is the time.

I have some money that I will disperse, probably to either my parish or to a charity like Catholic Charities or St Jude's Hospital For Children since I have no heirs. If something should happen where I get an heir such as a child or step-child I would of course leave my money to that person. And I have a massive library of literally thousands of books some of which are rather rare. I plan on leaving my theology and Bible commentary library to my parish.


Beyond that, my main concern is planning for my funeral and burial. I will specify that I want a funeral Mass, not some New Age "celebration of life" or some "nondenominational" memorial.


My question is, just how much leeway do I have in planning my funeral Mass? Do I get to choose the readings? I'm sure I get to choose the hymns (if they play Amazing Grace, my entire surviving family is disinherited; I detest that song with every fiber of my being)

[zeno]

We were allowed to choose the readings and psalm.

[Obi-Wan Kenobi]

You can spell out everything you want and don't want, within the rubrics, of course. Threaten to come back and haunt people if your instructions are disregarded. That's my plan.

[anawim]

My parish has a list of approved readings and hymns. People can choose from them, but that's it. No substitutions.

[VeryTas]

If you want to affect how people will remember you, get in their face now. (They shouldn't be fooled by something you chose for your funeral.) I'm 77 and don't see the end of the tunnel yet. I'm happy for Providence (including relatives and the parish priest) to arrange my funeral. If they don't do me justice, who did anyway? If people don't know me quite right, well, neither did I. Only God knows who I am, and he might let us know that in heaven.

[Doom]

If you want to affect how people will remember you, get in their face now. (They shouldn't be fooled by something you chose for your funeral.) I'm 77 and don't see the end of the tunnel yet. I'm happy for Providence (including relatives and the parish priest) to arrange my funeral. If they don't do me justice, who did anyway? If people don't know me quite right, well, neither did I. Only God knows who I am, and he might let us know that in heaven.

I literally have absolutely no idea what you just said, I do not understand a word of it.

[Kage_ar]

This is a handy dandy book, we give it out to folks so they can plan. We LOVE it when someone plans the Mass ahead of time and saves their family that agonizing over "what would Doom have wanted?"

Also tell them if you want a rosary service.

We put your wishes into your computer parish record.

https://a.co/d/1rDyhYs

We will also hand out a hymnal to borrow. I'd bet my dog that you want classic hymns, so, you are likely safe just listing the songs. We ask the family to select 4 pieces of music.

[Doom]

I don’t know what parish I will be attending when I die or even what city or state I will be living in, and I certainly don’t know what family if any will still be alive. I am hoping to retire sometime between 60 and 65, 10-15 years from now. It is unlikely that I will not move to get away from the cold weather (which I used to love but which gets harder and harder every year), I could move back to Florida, or Arizona or somewhere exotic like the Bahamas. I don’t know. That’s why I want to put funeral instructions into my will.

[VeryTas]

I literally have absolutely no idea what you just said, I do not understand a word of it.

Not a word of it? Not even "I'm happy for Providence ... to arrange my funeral"?
I'm raising the question of why one might want to arrange one's own funeral to any degree.

[Doom]

As I said because if I leave it up to others they might give me some God awful New Age “Celebration of Life”, it doesn’t matter what I say once I’m dead they can do whatever they want unless I arrange it myself.

Worse yet, I might outlive all my immediate family if I don’t plan it myself I may not have any funeral at all.

[Kage_ar]

In my experience, the will is not opened/read until after the fact - by then someone has already called the funeral home and set the service plans in motion. IMHO, have a letter with Mass instrux given to a couple of trusted friends/family members "to be read as soon as I die".

[Doom]

It is the best I can possibly do, even if it doesn’t happen 25 years after I’m buried in the cold cold ground as long as it happens.

[Riverboat]

I don’t know what parish I will be attending when I die or even what city or state I will be living in

Well, if you're looking for ̶w̶a̶r̶m̶ insufferably hot weather, there's plenty of it here in Houston. Best of all, the Dominican friars at my parish will see to it you get a good send-off without a lick of New Age bushlit.

[Peetem]

55 almost 56 here....

Years ago when the wife and I went to Rome for a week, we put together our wills in case something happened so the kids would be taken care of.

We also included a separate set of instructions - the kids should be raised Catholic, we wanted a full funeral mass, and things like that. We also included an ever so brief testimony.

Out thought was folks would honor our wishes, even if there were some that aren't typically included in a Will. We would do the same for others unless they asked for something explicitly against our faith that couldn't be reconciled (i.e., hold a satanic Mass or spread their ashes over Lake Gitchegumee).

[Doom]

I have decided on the scripture readings

Wisdom 3:1-9

[c]But the souls of the righteous are in the hand of God,
and no torment can overtake them.
2 From the viewpoint of the foolish, they seemed to be dead,
and their passing away was reckoned as a misfortune,
3 and their departure from us as their ruin.
But they are at peace.[d]
4 Although in the eyes of others they were chastised,
their hope is full of immortality.
5 Having endured a slight chastisement, they will receive great blessings,
because God tested them
and found them worthy to be with him.[e]
6 He put them to the proof like gold in a furnace,
and he accepted them as a sacrificial burnt offering.[f]
7 In the time of their visitation[g] they will shine brightly
and spread like sparks among the stubble.
8 They will judge nations and have dominion over peoples,
and the Lord will be their King forever.
9 Those who trust in him will understand truth,
and the faithful will dwell with him in love,

I'm not sure about the Psalm but I suppose I can't go wrong with Pslam 23

I Corinthians 15:50-55

] What I am asserting, brethren, is that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor can the perishable inherit what is imperishable.

51 Listen while I tell you a mystery. We shall not all fall asleep, but we shall all be changed 52 in an instant, in the twinkling of an eye, at the sound of the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed.[k] 53 For this perishable body must be clothed with the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality.

54 When this perishable body puts on imperishability, and this mortal body puts on immortality, then will the words that are written be fulfilled:

“Death has been swallowed up in victory.
55 Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?”

And the gospel reading

John 11 20:27

20 When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went forth to meet him, while Mary remained at home. 21 Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 But even now I know that God will grant you whatever you ask of him.” 23 Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” 24 Martha replied, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.” 25 Jesus then said to her,

“I am the resurrection and the life.
Whoever believes in me,
even though he dies, will live,
26 and everyone who lives
and believes in me
will never die.
Do you believe this?”

27 “Yes, Lord,” she replied. “I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, the one who is to come into the world.”

[zeno]

That first reading from the book of Wisdom is one of my favorites! It was read at Mass one or two Sundays after my Dad passed and I took great comfort from it.

[Doom]

I got the idea because it was read at my grandmother's funeral, immediately when I heard it, I thought, "I want that read at my funeral"

[Riverboat]

Threaten to come back and haunt people if your instructions are disregarded.

If someone plays a guitar at my funeral, if I believed in reincarnation, I'd come back as a pair of pliers.

[peregrinator]

It could be worse - someone could play the piano

[Riverboat]

Guitar strings, piano strings - pliers work for both.

During the French Revolution, the partisans were recognized by their Phrygian caps. I envision a Trad-Rev in which participants carry pliers into battle against the publishers of Oregon Catholic Press, guitar liturgies, and the St. Louis Jesuits for good measure.